Refuge provides specialist support to women, children and some men escaping domestic violence and other forms of violence.

Telephone Hertfordshire IDVA Service: 0300 790 6772 Monday-Friday 09:00-17:00
Email Hertfordshire IDVA Service: hertsIDVA@refudge.org.uk

Twitter: @RefugeCharity

National Domestic Abuse Helpline: 0808 2000 247 open 24/7

Website: www.refuge.org.uk


Respect are a pioneering domestic abuse organisation developing safe, effective work with perpetrators, male victims and young people who use violence.

Twitter: @RespectUK

Website: www.respect.uk.net

Respect Phoneline – confidential helpline, email and webchat service for domestic abuse perpetrators and those supporting them.
Telephone: 0808 8024040
Website: respectphoneline.org.uk

Men’s Advice Line – confidential helpline, email and webchat service for male victims of domestic abuse.
Telephone: 0808 8010327
Website: mensadviceline.org.uk

Possible opening questions about Domestic Abuse

Always make sure it is safe to ask, never ask if the patient is with someone or a child over 2 years of age.

– Do you feel safe at home?
– Are you worried about returning home?
– Is there someone you are afraid of?
– If you talk to me about what is going on, are you worried about the consequences?
– It’s policy and routine that we ask about domestic abuse, is this something you are
experiencing or have experienced?
– For safeguarding reasons we always ask about domestic abuse, is this something that you are you experiencing?

It is important to acknowledge that when you are asking someone if they are experiencing domestic abuse that it may be the first time someone has asked or shown a genuine interest into their wellbeing. They may not be ready to discuss what they are experiencing, therefore it is always best to ask the question at least twice at different appointments or contact with them.

Herts Domestic Abuse Helpline

Herts Domestic Abuse Helpline is a confidential, free, support and signposting service for anyone affected by domestic abuse.

09:00-21:00 Monday to Friday and 09:00-16:00 weekends.

Telephone: 08 088 088 088

Email: Kim@mailpurple.org

Website: www.hertsdomesticabusehelpline.org

Signs of Domestic Abuse

These are just some of the signs of abuse:

– Frequent/unexplained injuries
– Trying to hide injuries or being dismissive about these
– Frequent calls to police/attendance to A&E
– Declining primary health care services
– Change in mood – depression, anxiety, low mood
– Making excuses for the perpetrator
– Perpetrator speaks for the client all the time and accompanies to all appointments
– Survivor appears more withdrawn in front of perpetrator compared to when they are on their own
– Survivor does not appear to be in control of their money
– Unwanted pregnancies
– STIs
– Increased use of alcohol and/or drugs
– Survivor talks about ‘dis-honour’ to the family
– Survivor appears not to have autonomy over their day-to-day choices

Response to Disclosure

– Confidentiality
– Active Listening
– Believe that it is possible – do not act surprised
– Key Messages
– Thank you for telling me
– I know this is not easy to talk about, thank you for speaking to me about it
– It’s not your fault
– I hear you
– You have the right to live free from violence and abuse

Be clear about what will happen next – ask them what they would like to happen